Whenever we think of business or any venture that requires taking a risk, the terms “assets” and “liabilities” always come to the forefront. Accounting guru’s like Jim Bourke and Jean Caragher often define an asset as anything of value that you or a company owns Whereas, liabilities are any debts or payments that you owe to someone else.
In comparison to love and relationships, many of us run into this crossroad of not knowing our self-worth or net worth when it comes to the one who holds your heart. This common mistake of falling for Mr. or Mrs. Wrong happens to the best of us simply because we blindly follow our hearts instead of assessing someone’s “portfolio of love“.
Much like with business, in order to make a decision for financial gain, you must reevaluate the situation at hand to see if you are biting off more than you can chew. When forming any new relationship with someone whether it be platonic or romantic, this same approach should be taken into consideration when reviewing both assets and liabilities in a potential partner or friend.
Prior to writing this, I had a conversation with a good friend of mine and the emphasize of knowing your worth when dealing with people came to the surface as it most commonly does. I remember referencing the concept of liabilities and how in some instances people do more harm than good in more areas than one, and instead of letting them go before things get worse we continue to deal with them based on our feelings rather than facts.
For example, when you’re stuck at work (or any location) and your significant other or friend cannot pick you up. Yes, it sounds petty, but in essence, that person has now become a liability to your current situation. That is just one of many ways that a person can exhibit liable behaviors.
Let’s talk about the rest.
Late payments and Arrangements
In a perfect world, I would like to think that we’ve all been blessed enough to help out a friend or two when it comes to loaning out money, paying a late bill, or doing someone a favor without expecting anything in return.
In hindsight, I may have done these generous gestures out of the kindness of my existence, or because of love, but the fact of the matter is that when I saw someone in need, I continued to help. Endlessly…
Now when it comes to “looking out” and overextending yourself, I am that girl. I’m that friend that will come up with a plan to help you solve your debt issues, life crises, or man/woman troubles, without blinking twice. What can I say, I genuinely enjoy helping people get through shit, but in the end, I always find myself asking the question “who can I turn to for help”?
There was this one time that I loaned a guy I was dating at the moment some money for a debt that he owed on a car payment. Not thinking twice, I graciously gave him the amount with no hidden agenda or i.o.u’s. Fast forward a month later and down on my luck, I reached out to this same man for assistance, and let’s just say that was the end of that relationship.
The issue wasn’t that he didn’t pay me back because that’s not the reason why I helped him in the first place. But now this man has become a liability due to his lack of resources, and as a woman who knows her net worth, I can’t afford to have people around me who I cannot depend on, no matter the cost.
Moving on and Letting Go
It might sound selfish and cold but think about it, would you rather be surrounded by friends and partners who you both can benefit from, financially and emotionally? Or are you okay with having a group of people in your life who you always have to save?
All great business owners look at their ROI, or “return on investment” before they decide on pursuing any new ventures. Shouldn’t we do the same before letting anyone new into our lives?
This particular advice is also suitable for family members especially. At times I feel obligated to help my love one’s out because we are related and that I know that they would do the same if they had it, but f*ck that! There’s been plenty of times where someone in my family was in a position to save me and did my boat ever come? Hell no! I’m still waiting til this day. But I love them regardless.
In my twenty-four years of living, I’m finding it increasingly easier to move on from relationships, friendships, and kinships, that no longer add to my assets of life. I’m sure this comes with years of experience and heartwrenching stories to tell, but the more that I grow into the woman that I plan to be through positive interactions with like-minded individuals, and captivating conversations in tow, things get better when you get rid of the deadweight.
Learning to let people go no matter what phase of life you’re in is essential to growth and productivity. Granted, you just can’t start cutting people off because they couldn’t pick you up from work, or they weren’t there for your trying times, but by looking at someone’s actions and behaviors towards you will let you know if they’re worth the investment.